Take time, don’t waste time. ~ Arthur Kottas-Heldenberg, Former First Chief Rider at the Spanish Riding School in Vienna.
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There are many inside jokes in the equestrian world when it comes to time and time management, from comments about the perpetually late being on ‘barn time’, to the lengthy absence typical of someone going to the barn for ‘just five minutes’. They can become timeworn cliches as we all nod and smile knowingly, recognizing ourselves in one or the other, or both. But one great old adage should never lose its shine whatever the world we live in, and that is, as Arthur Kottas said above, to take time but don’t waste time.
There is also such a thing as what a friend of mine calls a ‘time optimist’, and in the interest of full disclosure, I can honestly say that I fit into not one, not two, but all three categories. I am perpetually overly optimistic and always think I have more time than I do, I tend to fall victim (note that by claiming victimhood I am happily absolved of responsibility) to barn time, and personally I don’t think it is actually possible to spend just five minutes at the barn. No such thing.
Because horses are magic, and however humble or magnificent they may be, they are all unicorns. Time, and our sense of it, vanishes in their presence. Like a good book or movie, they immediately draw us into their story, their needs and their mystery, and regardless of the ending, it is time well spent for all eternity. It doesn’t matter if we did nothing but brush a mane, feed a carrot, muck a stall. It matters that we spent time sharing space, for our state of being will always be shifted for the better in their presence.
Except when we start wanting something from them. Then we may end up in hot water as we enter at A and ride for the gold, forgetting to check in and see if they, too, have understood and embraced, never mind approved, the game plan.
Whenever we spend time with a horse, we are entering their world and whether we like it or not, we are now on their time. Their sense of time is quite different from ours, except at feed time, when they know exactly what time it is and just how many minutes past late you are with their feed. But when it comes to actually interacting with, riding and training horses, while we may have all manner of needs and agendas, the horse has only one.
To feel safe.
Once that need is met, they may well have a great many other ideas and suggestions indicating agendas, but as long as that need is not met, everything else is simply an expression thereof. If he is afraid or feeling insecure, he will forgo food and water to the point of illness. If he is uncertain, he will find it difficult to focus. If he is in pain and fearing more inflicted, he will freeze, fight or give flight.
On the other hand, when he feels safe and seen, he will become curious and engaged in the process. That’s when the real magic may begin, when two, distinctly different creatures have a meeting of the minds and hearts, translated through the graceful movement of their bodies.
But if we are forever in a rush in their presence, trying to squeeze an hour into thirty minutes, we stop making sense to a being that lives primarily in the moment. The door to the magic shuts with a bang.
While we understand the concept of being in a hurry in order to get through a busy day, a horse feels only the resulting pressure and restlessness. With no clear cause to explain it, much like chronic anxiety in a human, a horse unable to deflect the sense of inexplicable pressure will begin to look for a reason, and quite possibly, invent a few of his own in the process. And if he has had cause for anxiety and trauma in his own past, the painful scars of these memories are likely to be triggered under the pressure of our agenda. After all, quick and sudden movements rarely bring anything good to a horse.
A horse only rushes for a few, very distinct reasons. He is hungry (and a horse is like a teenage kid - he can always eat), and food is offered. He is thirsty, and water is presented. He sees someone he cares about and rushes to greet them, or he sees someone he cares about being threatened and rushes to protect them.
Finally, he moves with great expedience when feeling threatened himself.
In other words, anything that moves quickly in their world suggests something to get excited, or more likely, concerned about. When we enter their world the burden of proof is upon us to prove to them that we are no threat, but if we rush, make quick and frenetic movements, even the best trained, most accomplished horse may raise an eyebrow, and with it, his heart rate. We may well, in that instance, be setting ourselves up for a difficult start to the interaction, never mind setting back any agendas we might have to linger on the backburner.
On the other hand, if we move too slowly, too carefully, they may soon lose interest, become bored, or feel claustrophobic as we seek to keep their attention for too long in one place. We are just not that fascinating, you know. Horses are made to move and unless they are outright napping, rarely stand still for any length of time.
That’s where taking time while not wasting time comes in. Think of the lighting of a candle. Hold the match or lighter to the wick and notice how you instinctively linger, letting the flame connect with the wick until it lights. If you move away too soon, the candle remains dark and unresponsive, having not had time to process the request of the flame to join it in the joy of illumination.
If you stay too long, you are simply wasting energy and time, burning the wick too swiftly and possibly drowning it in wax. If you tune into the moment you will know when the wick has taken alight without looking. When the candle is lit, move on. Take the time it takes to light the candle, then let it go. Waste no more time or energy on it. Just sit back and give it space to burn, and enjoy the warmth of it’s light and the uniqueness of it’s flame in that moment.
I am not a person of religion, but I recently stumbled on a hymn called Take Time To Be Holy. I never got past the title, because the title alone had so much to say. Of taking it a step at a time, of simplifying our expectations for that instance and allowing space to let things develop according to the highest good available in that moment. Time and breath for Life to consider and coordinate the best possible response to our request.
Take time to be holy speaks to letting go and letting wonder in, of stepping back and allowing for process and response. Of taking a deep breath and allowing the magic room to play in all we do, instead of holding the reins so tightly, spurring so unrelentingly, nothing in our presence has any room to move, to surprise and to co-create with us within the blessed halls of Grace itself. To take us places we never knew existed.
Alizee Froment and Sultan. PC: Yvette Eelman
It’s much like when we talk about cueing a horse. The secret is in the all important release, not in the moment of applied pressure of rein or leg or seat; the skill is in recognizing when the message has been received and moving on, giving the horse a chance, time and wiggle room to adjust and respond. Much like the wick that has just taken to the flame takes a moment to dim, flicker and then right itself, before coming into the full expression of the length of wick and quality of wax available to it.
In that it is not too different from life itself. Wise man after wise woman tells us not to linger in our worries, to remember to leave things up to divine timing. Name them, put them in a bag and give them to whatever your sense of higher self, divine intelligence or deity there is. By all means write them down, but burn them, literally or figuratively speaking. Free yourself of the burden of your deepest desire. Visualize your desired outcome then let it go, winging away to the heavens to be made manifest on your behalf. Light the candle of your dream and set it free to find it’s way back to you, fully lit and all aflame, awash in the wonders of the world. Or something poetic like that.
And hey. Don’t blame me if it rides in on a unicorn.
Alizee Froment and Sultan. PC: Sara Oliveira
P.S. Speaking of unicorns, click on the link below to enjoy a short little video of the extraordinary Alizee Froment and her exquisite unicorn, Sultan.
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Do you have a favorite equestrian principle you’d like me to talk about? Do you have a favorite non-equestrian saying you’d like me to look at through the eyes of an equestrian life coach? Or do you just have a great question or idea for a subject matter you’d like to see me write about? Then drop me a comment below and let me give it a go! Credit will be given for source of inspiration.
I have just discovered you and hope to meet you, maybe work with you, someday... this is beautiful.
Love this. Where does barn time go? It is a vortex of time and space. But the barn is always inside me wherever I go. Room for a deep Metaphysical discussion over plenty of tea:)